


Caught Here in the Wake

by meredithhildebrand



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 04:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9803129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meredithhildebrand/pseuds/meredithhildebrand
Summary: Just some more fluff and love for these characters, because I can never give enough of that for these characters and this book.Also, it's basically my one-year anniversary for reading Carry On.Yay!Also comment if you want me to continue this because I would love to:)this is sort of a mess honestly but whatever. I still really like it and i hope that you guys will too:)





	1. Chapter 1

BAZ

“Simon!” I call, standing outside of my car. We’re leaving for a three-week trip to North America, and we have a flight to catch in approximately three hours. It’s an hour and a half drive to the airport, and I already know that it’s going to take another hour to get through customs and security. I made sure to pack Simon’s bags early this morning before he woke up so that he wouldn’t be running around trying to pack last-minute items.  
I’m not exactly sure what’s taking him so long, but I have a pretty good idea that it has something to do with Penny and him saying goodbye. It took me a while to realize that those two being apart for more than two days is a bigger feat than most might think. It took me twenty minutes to get Simon out the door for our last trip, and he still hasn’t forgiven me completely for spelling him away from her.  
Simon runs out of the door, his hair messed, and his backpack half falling off his shoulder. I can’t help but smile at his flustered face.  
“Took you long enough,” I say, smirking at him while getting into the car. Simon huffs and opens his car door, and slides in.  
“Sorry, Baz,” he says, swallowing and holding his bag in his lap. I put the keys into the ignition and the engine roars on. I brush a piece of black hair away from my face and pull out of the parking lot of our apartment, and drive away.  
I can’t help but admit that I am extremely excited for this trip. Three weeks, in a different country, just me and Simon, no one else. No Penny telling us to get a room, halfway through Simon’s and I’s make-out sessions, no Penny telling Simon to be careful with his wings, no Penny telling us to do anything.  
These three weeks are going to be nothing but perfect. 

 

 

SIMON

The first half of the car ride to the airport has been actually pretty nice. I slept most of it, because I didn’t get much sleep last night, and when I’m tired, I can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. Even lying down on a bench in the middle of Hyde Park.  
Baz looks at me, and takes my hand. Lifts it up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles softly. A shiver runs through my hand, and I smile.  
“You excited?” he asks, and I nod. I really am. I haven’t been out of England at all in my life, except once, four months ago when Baz took me to Euro Disney for my 19th birthday. I love traveling. I love the way that taking off in an airplane feels. The sensation that fills my limbs is sort of like having surges of magic flowing through me.  
I remember the first time that I flew, with Baz. He almost fell out of his seat when I gasped so loudly that three other people looked over at me when the plane took off.  
I can’t help but smile now at the warm memory. 

 

I almost take a second glance when we pull into the Heathrow International Airport parking lot. 

 

Once we get through customs and security, we go to sit down in our gate. I love airports. I love the feeling of travel, and the feeling of being someone in an airport, along with hundreds of other people going places. I can’t really explain it, but I love it. I always try to look for little signs of magic being used whenever I travel, even though I know that magic around Normals is technically illegal under the rules of the Coven, but there are always a few magicians who use magic when they think that no one is looking. Magic like making time go faster, or long lines of people shortening quicker if a magician is in a hurry. Or even just changing a cup of coffee to a cup of tea. Little things. My favourite type of magic. Subtle. Hardly noticeable. Magic that never worked with my endless supply of power. I could never do small doses of magic. It was always huge or not there.  
I’m not exactly sure how I feel with no magic. I definitely still feel connected to magic, but in a different way than I used to. Now, I feel it more distantly. Second-hand magic. Like seeing something incredible, and wanting to touch it, but being unable to. Being able to see something, but from a distance, and wanting to get closer to it, to try and do it, but not being able to. Baz still tries to not use magic around me unless absolutely necessary, but I still see him use it time to time. Like closing the curtains in the living room when he’s in the kitchen, or making the grocery bags float into the kitchen so that he can hold my hand or give me a hug, once he gets back from school or doing errands. I love watching him use magic. He has so much power; it’s like he can do anything. He can whisper spells. I remember watching him murmur spells at Watford. I was always envious of that, and I remember trying to do it myself, but I never could.  
Baz nudges my shoulder with his and leans in close to my ear.  
“What are you thinking about?” he murmurs softly, intertwining his hand with mine.  
“Magic,” I whisper back to him, turning my head towards his.  
“Really?” Baz says to me, and I nod.  
“Mmmhmm,” I say back to him, smiling gently. I don’t really like how gently he treats the topic of magic around me, like I might break if he talks about it or uses it. We’ve talked about it a few times before, but he never really changes how he acts about it.  
Baz pulls away and takes my other hand. I feel myself blushing. I’m not exactly used to public displays of affection, so whenever Baz kisses me or hugs me or says something extremely romantic in front of people, I always get nervous. Baz is surprisingly really affectionate in public. I love it.  
“Are you worrying about it, love?” he asks me softly. I shake my head.  
“No, not at all, Baz,” I reply, smiling at him. Baz smiles back at me, and I lean my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. He still smells like cedar and bergamot, just like he did at Watford. Baz kisses the top of my head and wraps an arm around my shoulder. I love when he does this, because it’s one of the only times when I feel truly safe. I’m suddenly glad that he got us a spot in our gate away from the other people, because I don’t blush or feel embarrassed when he lifts up my face and kisses me gently on my mouth. His mouth is warm, and tastes like sweet tea and milk. We kiss for a few moments, and I finally pull away, even though I instantly miss the familiar feeling of his lips on mine. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and I automatically lean into him. We stare out the humongous glass window that overlooks aeroplanes taking off and landing. I close my eyes and smile. 

BAZ

I nudge Simon with my free hand once the flight administrator says over an intercom that our aeroplane is beginning to board.  
Simon groggily pulls his head off of my shoulder and rubs at his eye with his hand.  
“Come on, love,” I say to him, standing up. “It’s time to board.”  
Simon nods and gets up, taking his boarding pass and passport out of his jacket pocket. He runs a hand through his bronze curls and smiles sheepishly at me once he notices me staring at him intently. I stare at him constantly now. It’s a problem.  
I blink out of my daze once Simon smirks at me; his right eyebrow raises skeptically at me and I can’t help my shake my head slightly and smile at him. 

 

Ten minutes later, we’re in our seats; Simon at the window, and me beside him in the middle seat. I was lucky enough to book our spots in a row with no other people, so now we finally have some well-needed privacy for ten hours. We land in Toronto, and we spend a week there, then we head down to America for the last two weeks of our trip. I haven’t told Simon yet that I booked us a one-week stay in a five-star hotel in Maui. He’ll find out soon enough, though.  
Simon looks out the window, his hands clasped together loosely in his lap. 

 

A half-hour later, we’ve taken off and are gliding among the clouds. Simon’s head is resting on his plane window, and I reach over and take his hand in mine. His skin is warm and soft. I’m not surprised that he doesn’t notice. Snow can sleep like the dead when he wants too, which is quite often.  
He sleeps for another twenty minutes. I hold his hand the whole time, looking out at the window, looking at Snow, and running my thumb softly over the smooth skin of his hand. I smile softly, just because he isn’t watching, then I lean over and kiss the mole on his cheek. His skin smells faintly like aftershave.  
I can’t bear to not stare into his bright blue eyes anymore, so I keep on kissing his face; his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, the top of his ear.  
He finally stirs, and turns his head just I’m about to kiss his cheek for the tenth time. I end up kissing his mouth, and I can’t help but smirk.  
“About time, Snow,” I whisper against his warm mouth. I feel him smile, and I wrap an arm around his shoulders and leaning into him. He responds by pulling away from me, and leaning his head into the crook of my shoulder. I turn my head and press a gentle kiss to his head. He wraps an arm around my middle.  
“I love you,” he murmurs softly into my shirt. It’s muffled, but I can still hear it. I grin.  
“I love you too, Simon. I love you,” I reply softly. We fall asleep like that, intertwined, for the next two hours. 

 

SIMON

I wake to Baz’s warm breath fluttering through my bronze curls, and I smile, tilting my head upwards to kiss his neck.  
He stirs and squeezes my hand, once, twice, before finally pulling away from me. I immediately feel the absence of his skin pressing against mine and I crave it instantly. I feel sort of cold without it. Like the feeling when you first hold a cup of hot tea, then you let go of it and you instantly feel colder. Baz just laughs subtly and brushes a piece of raven-coloured hair behind his ear. 

 

 

THE NEXT DAY

BAZ

 

It was bloody hot in Toronto when we landed. We had a late flight so we didn’t get into Canada until the early morning. Simon was so exhausted that he collapsed on the hotel bed without even removing his shoes.  
I won’t lie; I’m completely knackered as well. I fall into bed with him and slide an arm around his waist. He makes a sleepy noise and cuddles in closer to me, and I try to ignore the electric tingling that fills my body when our skin touches. Oh Merlin, how can Simon drive me so crazy? 

 

SIMON

I wake up, on my side, with a warm weight settled over my stomach. Judging from the firmness of its grip, I guarantee its Baz. I move his arm and roll over onto my other side so I can see him. His black hair falls perfectly over his closed eyelids, and I kiss the tip of his nose gently.  
Somehow, he feels it, even though it was feather-light; barely there. He smiles softly before opening his eyes and pulling me closer into him. His chin clips over my head perfectly and I wrap my arm under his armpit, sliding the tips of my fingers underneath the neckline of his jumper. His skin is warm, and I know we must’ve showered earlier or otherwise he would’ve been much cooler.  
“What time is it?” Baz softly asks me. I feel his voice vibrate through his neck and I shake my head.  
“I don’t know,” I reply drowsily. Baz just sighs contently and kisses the top of my head.  
I try to pull away, to go use the washroom, but Baz’s fingers fist around a clump of fabric from my jumper, and I feel him smirking before I see him.  
“Baz,” I say, trying to pull away. He stays holding on to me, and he starts to kiss my neck slowly, and sweetly, and I know that I`m not getting out of bed anytime soon. 

 

BAZ

Normally, Simon responds to me faster than this, but today I know that he knows that there is no way in hell that I am letting him go. Not when he is deliciously warm, not when the sheets are covering us, not when the room is warm and dark. It`s not happening.  
Simon just chuckles and covers his face with his free hand.  
``Baz, come on, ‘he says, and I smile against his neck. I continue to kiss him, his cheeks, his forehead, the tip of his nose.  
I turn us over and pin Simon down to the mattress. He laughs sheepishly, turning red slowly.  
I smile and affectionately cup his cheeks with my hands.  
“Do you really think you’re getting out of bed today, Snow?” I say, my voice low. Simon turns even more red and covers his eyes with his arm. I see him grinning and I lean down and gently kiss his mouth. His lips are warm and soft, and mine, which are cold, tingle and I begin to kiss his neck again. Simon lets out a soft moan and I think that I can feel his blood rushing through his veins.  
I pull away to look at his face, and I see that his arm has fallen away from his eyes, and his curls are messed and his eyes are full of lust and longing. His lips are slightly parted and he’s breathing heavily.  
His eyes flick up to mine and they are the bluest that I have ever seen them, vivid, vivid, vivid.  
Three words come to mind.  
“Simon, I love you,” I say softly. Simon smiles and he wraps his arms around my neck, kissing my cheek.  
“I love you too, Baz,” he whispers.  
I pull upwards, and wrap an am around Simon’s shoulders, pulling up with me. We land into a seated position, with Simon’s back leaning against the headboard and our legs wrapped each other’s. I smile, and run my fingers through his bronze curls.  
I lean into him slowly and kiss his mouth gently. His lips are warm, and soft with the linger of sleep still resting on them. I wrap my arms around him tightly and hold closely to me. I can feel his heartbeat vibrating through the fabric of his jumper, and I slide my hands down and underneath his shirt.  
Simon breathes sharply into my mouth, but I’m too busy taking off his jumper to notice.  
“Baz?” he whispers softly. I nod, pulling away.  
Simon’s chest is golden, covered with moles and spots. I try not to drool.  
He's absolutely beautiful.  
And he’s mine.  
Mine. 

SIMON

I stare sheepishly and Baz, feeling my cheeks turn red. Baz’s pupils are dilated, and his hands slide down my chest. His fingers are cool against my warm skin, and I grab his wrists gently.  
He looks up at me, and raises an eyebrow when I let go of his wrists and slide my hands down to the front of his jumper. I slide it over his head, and close my eyes just for a split second.  
We haven’t even been dating for a year yet. It’s only October. We’ve been together since December. 

I want to go farther. I want to go farther. I want to go farther.  
I want this to work. 

Baz lets out a soft moan when I lean in to kiss his collarbone, and his hands slide around my waist, gripping my hips. My skin tingles.  
Baz’s skin is golden-red and it shines in the sunlight slowly seeping through the window next to the bed. “I love you,” he whispers, pulling me closer. I look up and his eyes are dark, but there is unbelievable amount of emotion in them. I pull myself closer to him until our bodies are completely pressed against each other, and I put my hands on the sides of his neck, pressing my forehead against his. I can’t see his eyes, but I can see his lips, slightly parted, letting out small puffs of warm breath. I sigh and close my eyes, just holding him close to me. I prefer this over having sex with him, because I feel more intimate now than ever. 

Baz breathes onto my skin, warm and soft, and his fingers brush my hips. His black hair falls over his eyes, and I brush strands away, and kiss his lips softly. His mouth is warm, so warm.  
“How… are you so incredibly perfect, Simon?” he murmurs, sliding his hands up my back and his fingers winding into my hair. I just smile and laugh softly. There’s barely enough room for both of us to breathe because of how close our mouths are to each other’s.  
Butterflies are in my stomach, pressing against my insides and I feel like I am about to explode from love and happiness. I didn’t think that being this happy would be possible for me, after Watford, and about my father, and my mother.  
Everything crashed, but Baz came in when the whole world was going out. I don’t know how I ever lived without him. I don’t ever want to live without him. I love him too much for that, and hopefully he loves me that much too.  
“Simon,” he murmurs, bringing me back to reality. Sweet, sweet, amazing reality.  
It’s too much to handle, almost. Having someone love and care for me as much as he does. It’s almost too much to bear.  
“Yes?” I say, my eyes tingling, my voice cracking. I think that I might cry. I think I might cry.  
“I love you, so, so much. You are my moon and stars, Simon, you’re perfect. I am absolutely in love with you,” he says to me softly, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my forehead gently.  
“I don’t know what I would do without you,” he whispers gently.  
An unforgiveable tear slowly drips out of my eye, and I inhale shakily. I look up and look away, out the window, wiping my hand underneath my eye. I look up to see Baz staring at me.  
“Simon, love, are you alright?” he asks softly, his voice concerned. He brushes his fingers against my cheek, kissing my forehead again.  
I nod and close my eyes.  
“It’s just that, you’re perfect Baz. And I don’t know why you want to be with me, because I know that I’m broken and I think that I can’t be fixed, but I love you so much too. I don’t want to burden you with my own problems,” I say brokenly, and before I know it tears are slowly dripping down my face and Baz’s arms wrap around me and he holds me so tight, so tight that I almost can’t breathe, and my arms wrap around him and I feel light, and weightless, and I hear Baz’s voice whispering into my ear, “I love you, I love you, I love you”.  
Once I’ve calmed down, we lay down side by side, looking at each other. Baz grips my one hand and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him, so close. He sighs gently into my hair. I look up and pull the blankets over top of us, pulling us down into darkness. I press myself closer to him and wrap my arms around him. 

 

BAZ

Simon pulls the blanket over top of us and settles in closer to me. I lean into his ear.  
“You should roll that way,” I murmur, and Simon laughs softly, rolling over onto his side. He loves spooning almost as much as I do. I smile and wrap and arm firmly around his middle and find his hand, holding it against his heart. I love doing this because it feels nice, and I love to have Simon this close to me. In some way, it almost feels more intimate than having sex with each other. Intimacy has always been an issue with Simon.  
He hasn’t grown up with loving parents, he’s been beaten repeatedly over the course of five years, and hasn’t had many friends.  
He's been neglected, and I’m the only one who’s ever shown him any real love.  
I kiss the top of his spine and smile.  
“I love you,” I whisper to him, feeling myself drifting off. 

 

SIMON

I love you too, Baz. 

Baz’s arm is wrapped around my stomach and his grip is almost protective. I sigh and close my eyes, but I can’t fall asleep. I’m overheating, I think, so I use my one hand to slightly pull the covers downward. The cool air instantly makes me feel better, and I breathe slowly, in, out, in, out.  
I hear Baz’s breath quicken. His bare skin is warm against mine, and I feel so safe, and protected…  
Shouldn’t I be happy with this? I’m not used to this, not at all.  
I shake my head, telling myself to calm down, but I should go. I have to go use the bathroom anyway.  
I try to untangle myself from Baz’s grip without waking him, but he stirs and I bite my lip.  
“Leaving so soon?” he whispers to me.  
“I just have to go use the bathroom, but I’ll be right back, okay?” I reply. Baz sighs but lifts his arm off my stomach and I breathe out with the sudden absence of his warmth. My head’s clearing. I crawl out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I can feel Baz’s eyes watching me. I’m still wearing my sweats from the flight and I know that I must smell awful. Leave it to Baz to not tell me.  
My curls are messed and I have slight blue bags underneath my eyes. I sigh and sit down on the toilet, putting my head in my hands and breathing out. I don’t know why I’m acting like this. I just have to calm down. It’s not Baz that I worry about, it’s me, because I don’t know how to deal with all his unwavering kindness. I’m not used to it, and therefore it’s making me flip out over stupid crap that doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t want him to know that I worry about this stuff though because I know that him knowing won’t make it any better.  
I love him so, so much. I love him too much for him to know that I think like this constantly. I don’t want to burden him with all my problems.  
After I know that I’ve been in here for at least five minutes, I slowly walk out of the bathroom to see Baz still laying in bed, reading a book. His skin is red-gold and looks almost like it’s glowing against the dark and light of the room. I look out the window, and see that it’s cloudy and raining. Great. Looks like we’re not going out today.  
Baz looks up and grins widely at me, patting the bed next to him. Even though I’ve been gone only five minutes, he looks like I haven’t seen him in a week.  
“Come sit down, darling,” he says, and my breath catches. My skin tingles and my pulse begins to race, but before I can object, my feet carry me forward and onto the bed next to him. Baz wraps and arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him, kissing my head. I smile.  
This…this feels good. It feels natural, to have Baz’s warm, bare skin against my own and his hands skimming my curls and us just being quiet together.  
I bite my thumb and look up at the book that Baz is reading. It’s my copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. It’s my favourite book in the series, and I have been begging Baz to read it for almost three months now.  
He laughs softly and I know that he knows I’m watching him.  
“Finally,” I say, sitting up and leaning in closer to kiss him. He turns his head towards mine and drops the open book onto his lap. I know that it’s forgotten for the time being.  
“Thank you,” I whisper into his mouth.  
“For what?” Baz says softly.  
I just breathe in and tangle my fingers in his wavy, black hair.  
Baz grips my waist and pulls me onto his lap.  
“You know that I’ve wanted to read those for a while now, love,” he says.  
“Yeah, but you never did. I’m just happy that you are now,” I reply. Baz laughs and kisses me.  
“Want to go out? I heard that the CN Tower is a great tourist attraction,” I say.  
Baz tilts his head. “You want to go out? Are you sure?” he asks.  
“Yeah, why?” I say. “I don’t want to stay in this room all day.” 

 

BAZ

I grin. For the last three months, Simon wouldn’t want to leave our apartment at all. I’m so happy that he’s finally better again.  
I kiss him softly and pull back slightly, my fingers holding his cheeks.  
“Of course we can go out. We can go anywhere you want, darling,” I say.  
Simon grins and scampers off me, grabbing his shirt from the floor and a pair of black jeans, then running into the bathroom and closing the door.

I’m so happy. I’m so in love with him. Hopelessly. Stupidly. Absolutely. Completely.  
I get out of bed and get changed, putting on a pair of tailored jeans and a navy-blue jumper. I leave my black hair down; Simon likes it the most like that.  
Simon runs out of the bathroom and grabs his wallet and phone from the bedside table. He goes to wait by the hotel door. I smile.  
“Love, you forgot your shoes,” I call as I walk into the bathroom. I hear him gasp and run across the carpeted floor to get his shoes.  
I brush my teeth and shake out my hair again before exiting the bathroom.  
“Are you ready? Can we go?” he says eagerly, pulling on his black hoodie. I open the closet to find a large, black umbrella.  
“Yes, we can,” I reply, sliding my wallet and cellphone into my long, black coat pocket. Simon’s almost jumping up and down. I take his hand, hoping that it will get him to stay still for just thirty seconds as I open the door and we walk out to the elevators. 

 

Once in the elevator, we’re silent. I’m not worried though because beside me, Simon is grinning and tapping his foot against the floor.  
“Why are you so excited, Simon? It’s just the CN tower,” I say.  
Simon looks at me sharply. “Just the CN tower?`` 

 

 

BAZ

We’re gone for practically the whole day. I try not to complain; but I would rather be back in our hotel room with Simon.  
Simon can’t stop stammering and grinning at the sight of all these new sights and people. I don’t remind him that he lives in a large city himself, because he just seems so bewildered by the skyrises and the concrete and the occasional trimmed tree peeking out from behind a building. I hold his hand the whole time; I can’t bring myself to let go. I never want to let go of him. 

We make it back to our hotel room, warm, tired and extremely satisfied with each other. I just want to hold him again, but I’m not sure he’s calm enough for that. He’s practically bouncing off the walls. 

 

TWO HOURS LATER  
Simon crawls into bed while I’m sitting at the desk, going over my notes for school. I hear Simon rustling and I look over my shoulder at him, smiling softly.  
“Come to bed, Baz,” he whines. I laugh.  
“Soon, sweet boy. Give me a minute, and I’ll be all yours,” I reply, going back to my textbook. I’m halfway through my first year at the LSOE, and I’m finding extremely interesting. Because of a family connection I have to one of the professors, I only go one day a week for three hours. I love it like that because that means that I get to spend most my time with Simon, which is always good. 

I finish up, closing my textbook and standing up from my chair.  
When I turn back around, about to say something to Simon, I find that he’s already sleeping. Go figure.  
I pull my clothes off and slide into bed behind Simon, wrapping an arm around his middle. His skin is warm and soft. I kiss the back of his neck.  
“I love you,” I whisper. He just makes a sleepy noise and cuddles in closer to me. I close my eyes and grin; this is how I want my life to be like for the next how many years I live for. 

 

SIMON

When I wake, Baz’s arm is around my waist and his breath is warm on the back of my neck. The room is still sort of dark. I look at my phone to see the time, and see that it’s 5:20. Baz won’t be up for another two hours, at least. I sigh and rest my hand against Baz’s. He sighs softly.  
I feel warm, and safe, and I fall asleep again, with Baz’s breath on the back of my neck and his body pressed against mine. 

 

I wake up two hours later, to the feeling of Baz’s lips against my bare skin.  
“Good morning, love,” he whispers. I grin and twist around so that I’m looking at him. His red-brown skin is glowing and warm, and his lips find mine. It’s a slow kiss, sleepy, and soft. He pulls me closer and leans away from my mouth to kiss a mole on my neck. I let out a soft moan.  
“It’s too early for this, Baz,” I say, but my heart’s not in it. Baz grins wickedly and smirks, pulling me on top of him. His fingers skim my waist and move until they rest against my freckled-covered stomach. I rest my forehead against his and close my eyes. He kisses the tip of my nose.  
My stomach tingles, and Baz kisses my mouth. His hands move away from my stomach and slide down until they wrap around my waist, and he begins to kiss my neck twice and then he moves to my collarbones, sending shivers through me. I tangle my fingers in his hair and grin against his mouth.  
“God, I love you, Simon,” Baz says. It’s full of emotion, and I believe him so much that I begin to kiss him even harder. Baz cups my face in his hands and my hands are running through his soft, black hair, and I never want this to end.  
His hand holds my face and I pull away, our lips barely grazing against each other’s. He lets out a breath so softly that I can almost not even hear it, but I rest my head on his chest and breathe in the scent of him. His skin is warm, and his arm curls over my waist and he holds me close to him. He pulls the blanket over top of us and I smile.  
“I love you,” I whisper. I can feel him smiling and he kisses my head.  
“I love you too, Simon. Ridiculously so,” he replies. 

 

BAZ

When I wake, Simon is still on top of me, warm and soft. I smile and kiss his head, and he groggily stirs. He slides off me and into the crook of my arm, with my arm around his shoulders, and his head on my chest. I grin; I can’t help it. Out of a million fantasies that have filled my head of Simon, this was my favourite one.  
I still can’t believe that he’s mine.  
“I love you,” he murmurs softly, and I look down at him.  
“I worship you, Simon,” I say, my eyes full of love and adoration. “I love you more than you can ever possibly know, and I`ll love you until the end of time. You`re my world, “ I say. “And you’ll never stop being my world,” I finish.  
Simon sits up and runs a hand through his curls. He then looks at me, for what feels like forever, and then he fervidly presses his lips against mine. I almost lose my breath, but then I come back to him and I pull him onto me and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss. I kiss him harder than I ever had before, wrapping my arms around him and running my fingers through his bronze curls. I never want to stop.  
I push him onto the bed and kiss his neck, down his chest, and his stomach. I kiss the mole closest to the beginning of his boxers, and then I make my way back up to his lips. I slide my tongue into his mouth and hold his face in my hands. I kiss both of his cheeks, and the mole underneath his left ear.  
I lean in close to his ear and whisper, “You’re perfect, absolutely perfect, to me, Simon,”. He smiles and wraps his arms around my neck.  
“You’re perfect to me too, Baz. You always will be,” he murmurs and gently kisses my lips. He tastes like cinnamon. I grin.  
“God, you’re amazing. Incredible,” I reply softly, as I pause just above his warm lips. I rest my hands  
on his freckled-covered stomach and breathe him in. I kiss his collarbone, then resume the previous position, with my lips just grazing Simon’s. He breathes heavily. I tangle my fingers through his curls and kiss his forehead softly.  
“I still don’t understand how I ever lived without you,” I whisper.  
Simon chuckles. “You didn’t, Baz. We lived together for eight years,” he murmurs back to me. I grin again.  
“Yes, but I never got to do this with you,” I say back to him. 

 

SIMON

“Yes, but I never got to do this with you,” Baz says to me softly. He then kisses me softly on my mouth and wraps his arms around me.  
“I know. I still can’t believe that it took me this long to realize your feelings for me, I was so oblivious,” I say, and roll off him. I look at him once I lay down next to him. My eyes follow his slight movements as he runs his hands through his raven-coloured hair. I pull the blanket on top of us and settle in close to him, with my head on his chest. His skin is warm. He wraps an arm around me and holds me close to him. I close my eyes. He begins to hum La Vie en Rose, and I smile. His fingers caress my curls softly. And he continues to hum softly. I feel myself drifting off.  
This is what I want to the rest of my life to be like. 

 

When I wake up, it’s raining outside and the room is noticeably darker than before. Baz and I are inches away, and one of his hands is close by my face, his fingers skimming my nose and lips, and the other one is wrapped tightly around my waist. I kiss his nose softly and lean my forehead against his. He stirs and wakes up slowly, and he kisses me. His mouth is warm, and his hair tickles my nose.  
“Good morning, my love,” he murmurs softly. I smile and sigh quietly. God, I love him. I don’t know what I would do without him.  
Baz looks at me softly and swallows.  
“Simon?” he asks softly. I hum in reply, absentmindedly twirling my fingers into his hair. It’s smoother and silkier than mine. I love his hair. Baz smiles at me softly and pulls me close to him. I feel myself slowly beginning to drift off because of Baz’s warm skin and soft kisses from him that cover my forehead and hair. He kisses my nose and leans his forehead against mine, pulling me close to him. I inhale.  
Exhale.  
Inhale again.  
I’m almost asleep when I hear a word that makes my eyes fly open and my veins thrum with electricity.  
“How would you feel about a wedding, my love?” Baz asks.  
“A wedding? What do you mean?” I ask him, sitting up in the bed, causing his arms to fall away from me.  
Baz props himself up on his elbow and gives me one of his smiles that he saves just for me. My heart begins to melt.  
“What I mean, Simon, is that I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I never want to be anywhere without you.  
I need you,” he says softly.  
I feel my eyes go wide, and before I know it, I’m pulling him up and pressing my lips to his. His arms wrap around me and hold me tightly, close to him. I tangle my fingers in his hair and breathe out against his warm lips.  
“Of course, you idiot. I’ll definitely marry you,” I say against his lips. We both smile, and Baz wraps me in a huge hug. I grin into his shoulder. Baz laughs and tightly holds me.  
“I love you, so, so fucking much,” Baz says, his voice coated in love and happiness. I grin so widely that my cheeks start to hurt.  
“I love you, too, Baz,” I say, smiling. I pull away from him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here it is! thank you all for the feedback, it keeps me going:)

BAZ

We’ve been back from our trip for two months now. Those three weeks spent across the world were the best twenty-one days of my life, and I haven’t forgot how amazing it was.  
It’s early morning here in London, and Penny’s out for her run. She’s been doing that lately, going out and taking time to think. I tell Simon that it would be good for him to go too, but he’s never awake at the crack at dawn. I am, but that’s because I’ve never really been a good sleeper. I wake up at dawn almost every day, even when I don’t have to. Simon’s up more around seven or eight, but we don’t get out of bed until ten or eleven.  
Simon stirs beside me and I look down at him. His bronze curls catch the light of the sun cresting over the skyline and turns his hair a darker shade of gold. I kiss his curls and smile into his hair.  
“Good morning, love,” I whisper. Simon smiles sleepily and lifts his lips to mine. His mouth is warm and soft, and I lean deeper into the kiss, wrapping my arms around him tightly and pulling him on top of me.  
Simon grins. I kiss his neck softly and nip the skin, just to get him more awake. Simon braces himself by extending his arms onto the bed, holding himself on top of me. The git. He’s doing this just to get me to give him a reaction. It works. Crowley, it works. I whimper against his retreating mouth, and Simon laughs.  
“A bit needy, are we?” he says mockingly, and I growl in reply.  
“Get back here, Snow,” I say, my voice low. Simon goes to reply, but I shoot up and press my mouth to his to get him to stop talking. Simon moans softly. I run my fingers through his curls.  
“We need music,” Simon whispers, reluctantly pulling away from me and sitting up. I nod.  
Simon crawls off me and goes to find a song on his iPod. I watch him from the bed, propping my head on my hand. His bare skin shines gold in the glow of the morning light, and I see the muscles rippling in his back and shoulders.  
I begin to hear the first notes of Heartbeats by Jose Gonzalez. I love this song.  
Simon comes back to the bed and slides on top of me. 

One night to be confused/One night to speed up truth

“Hold on,” I whisper, sitting up and pulling the curtains shut, covering the room in a sheet of darkness. I pull Simon back on top of me, and I run my fingers through his curls and down his cheeks. I connect the moles on his face with my free hand. Simon smiles softly. I swallow and Simon presses his forehead against mine. I feel his steady heartbeat in his chest pounding against me and I slide my fingers into his hair, wrapping my fingers around the bronze curls. The air in the room is warm, and quiet, and still. I smile softly and press my lips to his. Simon exhales into my mouth. His arms wrap around my head and his mouth leaves mine and he moves his warm lips to my neck, and he kisses the skin and moves down to my collarbone. I close my eyes and absentmindedly skim my fingers over his back.  
Simon pulls away, but I tighten my grip around him and roll us over unexpectantly so that he’s below me. I look at him, flushed and warm beneath me, and go for his neck, nipping it and sucking it so that when I pull away, there’s a small purple mark just below his carotid artery. Simon looks up at me, his blue eyes vivid and his bronze curls plastered to his forehead.  
The song ends, and I roll off Simon, and pull him close to me. I feel his heart beating in his chest and I smile at him softly. 

 

TWO DAYS LATER

BAZ

Ever since the day that I subtly asked Simon if he wanted to marry me, it’s been basically the only thing on my mind. I can’t stop thinking about it, because it’s what I’ve dreamt about for so long, and the fact that he’s basically said that he will, it causes my brain to short-circuit every time he looks at me.  
He’s still oblivious of this, but it makes sense because he did think that I was plotting to kill him for seven years of our lives.  
I look at him from across the kitchen where I’m cooking dinner. He’s sitting at the counter, with his giant red wings extended and his tail swishing from side to side behind him. He’s reading a book for school, and he’s absentmindedly chewing the lid of his closed highlighter that he’s holding in his hand. I swallow, and turn back to where I’m making spaghetti Bolognese. It’s one of his favourite dishes.  
A fun fact about Simon is that he can’t cook for shit. He’s a good baker, but every time he tries to make something other than cookies or cupcakes, it normally ends up with smoke filling the whole flat and me trying to put out the flames that could kill me.  
Simon stands up from his spot at the counter and goes to get a glass of milk from the fridge. He pours it into a cup and goes back to sit down. His fingers gently brush my shoulder as he walks by, and I feel like I`m about to incinerate from all of the tension that is in my chest. I turn around, gripping the edge of the countertop and staring at him before clearing my throat.  
“Simon?” I say. He looks up at me, smiling.  
“Yeah, what is it? Do you need help with anything?” he asks, and I shake my head. I walk slowly over to the counter where’s he’s sitting and take a deep breath.  
“Were you serious about wanting to marry me?” I ask him softly. Simon’s lips drop open and he closes his book, staring at me.  
“Of course, I was. Why wouldn’t I be?” he replies, standing up. I still tower over him.  
Simon takes my hand. “Baz, what’s wrong?” he asks. I shake my head.  
“Nothing,” I say, feeling like a weight has been taken off my shoulders. I focus on his warm hand wrapped around my cool wrist and I swallow. 

 

SIMON

Baz looks unsettled. I guide him to the couch and he reluctantly sits down with me.  
“Baz, I want to marry you. I can’t imagine not marrying you,” I say to him. Baz stares at me for what seems like forever until he lunges forward, causing me to fall backwards onto the couch. I grin.  
Baz practically attacks me, the way that he’s fervidly pressing his lips to every exposed inch of my skin that he can find. His hands slide underneath my shirt and press into my stomach, and I arch my back.  
“Thank you,” he says against my lips, his breath hot and panting. I laugh.  
“No problem,” I reply.  
“Fuck, I love you, Simon,” Baz says heavily, pressing his forehead to mine and his eyes shut tightly. I close my eyes and feel giddy. It feels incredible to be loved like this. I never thought that I would be loved like this. I never thought that I would be loved like this by Baz, of all people.  
I grin underneath him, and my hands grab onto the sides his face and I kiss his mouth. 

I really can`t wait to marry him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, here it is! sorry for not getting it up sooner, but I had temporary writer`s block and I`ve been recently really busy with school stuff and what not.  
> I plan on getting up another chapter sometime in the next couple days, but it may not happen.  
> Again, thanks for all the feedback:)

**Author's Note:**

> Comment if you want more!


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